Schools Closing Because Weather is Too Cold

A lot of schools in the Detroit area and other American towns have been closing their doors for days at a time this winter. They're not closing because of giant tornadoes or blizzards, they're simply closing because it's COLD. Sub zero temperatures are now leading to school closings all around the nation, leaving many parents wondering if the criteria to decide when schools should be closed is correct. In an era where American school children are falling behind the rest of the world in education like never before, the last thing the nation needs is more unnecessary days off school.

What if the Inuit people closed schools every time it was really cold out? Their kids would never learn anything besides how to make igloos and tie up their mukluks. Now if it was minus twenty degrees in Miami, Florida I would understand people closing down schools, but you're in Michigan! Back in my day it could be negative fifty below zero CELCIUS and we still went to school and that wasn't even taking into account wind chill! "Wind chill" wasn't even a thing back then because it's a pansy term meteorologists invented to tell you what the temperature outside "feels like". I'll tell you what it felt like! It felt like crap! But we trudged on anyway and we read our books with stone hard nipples that could carve prehistoric cave art into a war ship's iron hull.

This is the problem with kids today, there's no discipline at all. They run around thinking "When normal water turns into clear rock water, learning is cancelled!" I suppose the only bright side to all of this is global warming. Hopefully it kicks in soon because these kids need to start learning and fast. Ironically, global warming, the thing folks claim uneducated people don't believe in, could very well be something that helps the future American generations become more educated. Whatever your views on climate change, I think we can all agree that lost school time is bad and school closings should only occur when absolutely necessary.