What To Do With Spare Pubic Hair

If you're like me then you've noticed the disturbing wealth of pubic hairs surrounding your computer area. First off, it's very important to clear these out or at least push them into a corner where the pile can accumulate over time. You would be amazed to find out just how many pubes your body sheds over the course of a few months.

What should be done with these pubic hairs? Well what I like to do is once the pile reaches a weight of approximately one kilo (usually at the end of a week) I like to bag all the hair up and then ship it to a charity that makes wigs for people undergoing chemotherapy. I know for a fact they don't use any of it because they've sent me several letters, but it makes me feel good to at least think that I'm helping. And by the way they don't know they're pubes, I never state that. They just think I'm a guy with really curly and dirty long hair.

The other things I like to do with my spare pubes are burn them in the fireplace to use as kindling as well as in my barbecue grill. I mix the pubes in with the charcoal so when I cook it gives the meats a really earthy and almost tangy, pungent aromatic flavor. I also like to make novelty fake mustaches which I then sell to people around Halloween and Groucho Marx's birthday. Really the possibilities are endless and we need to stop viewing pube piles as a nuisance and start embracing them for what they are: nature's garnish on life.