What is the Real Purpose of Armpit Hair?

It seems that not even the most intelligent scientists and doctors can agree on what armpit hair is all about. Nose hairs keep crap from flying into your brain, eyelashes keep things from flying into your eyes, but what the hell is going to attack your armpits? A lot of people say pit hair is there to help sweat travel out of the armpit, but is that really a big deal? If your armpits are so damn sweaty just dry them out yourself. The human anus doesn't clean itself out so why would armpits? And an anus actually needs to be cleaned out! Has anyone ever died from dirty armpits? Plus you don't get armpit hair until you enter puberty so are you trying to say people below the age of puberty needs clean armpits any less than people with armpit hair? The fact of the matter is you can shave your armpits and literally nothing about your life will change. Some people at the pool might tease you if you're a man, but aside from that your life isn't different at all. So what is the hair for?

The other theory is that it's just a signal of maturity. I don't buy that one because you can begin puberty as early as six-years-old these days. Is that really mature? Is that an age that should be signified to people that you're ready for sexual intercourse? I DON'T THINK SO! So there goes that bullshit theory. So what's the evolutionary purpose? My personal theory is that it's extra hair that can be cut out and used as insulation or fire kindling in survival situations. If your underarm hair is as long as mine it can even be used to make ropes. Finally my "genetic defect" can be a benefit!