My Thoughts on the Zazuflootas

Of course there is no musical nature to the plastic zoozooploota horn that nearly every South African owns and brings to a World Cup soccer game, but I'm becoming a fan. It does sound a lot like a camel passing a kidney stone and when coupled with others begins to sound like you have a brain tumor, but I feel it does add a bit to the games on TV.

On TV, these zeezafluties provide a bit of ambiance and atmosphere to the games. That's important. I don't know why the people in the crowd never want to stop blowing during the games, but if they never stop that means they're enjoying it and I'm never one to stop someone from blowing if they're enjoying it.

The vookindoozies have been facing a lot of stern criticism lately especially from people who attend the World Cup games. If it were me sitting next to a bunch of people blowing on teegovilchins I would probably be upset, but then again that serves me right for going to a soccer game.

Let us be clear, these zingaflappos belong in South Africa or at soccer games only. The New York Yankees had to recently ban fans from using voozieplankos during games and I agree with that. Baseball is hard enough to pay attention to without someone playing the death rattle of a humpback whale in your ear.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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