Enough of The Anthony Weiner Puns Already!

Every photo of Weiner is a dick pic.

If you’re like me then you’re a wee bit tired of all the Anthony Weiner penis puns that have been presented in the media. We get it, his name is Weiner. What are we? 25-years-old? It’s not even like Weiner is an odd name, it’s fairly common. If this man’s surname was Cockhammer or something, then I’d see the need to highlight that, but even still, it’s just a name. So can we please cut the crap and try to have Weiner come out of our mouths without smiling?

Anywho, the 2013 New York mayoral campaign is beginning to heat up and things are getting messy. Anthony Weiner started off strong, rose quickly, and came hard, but now it appears he may have blown his wad a little too soon in the race. New revelations about past discretions have put a stranglehold on the sloppy Weiner. The main trouble for Weiner is he’s facing very stiff competition for the role of New York Mayor. If he wants to win he had better go hard or go home because if he blows it again the voters won’t hesitate to give him the shaft.

A second Weiner sex scandal was a huge blow to the stomach and has made the electorate feel like they’re being jerked around. The scandal put Weiner in a sticky situation and left a huge stain on his campaign, but despite that, according to recent poll numbers Weiner is appealing to Black voters in a big way. Unfortunately he’s having very small influence on the Asian community who unsurprisingly supports candidate city comptroller John Liu. 

Why does Anthony Weiner even want to be in politics? He’s sent enough penile photography to suggest that his main focus in life isn’t public office. He and his wife should just leave politics and start up a new pecker photo dating website called Weinerbook or MyWeiner or WeinerdIn. All I’m saying is Weiner might as well face it, he’s aDICKted to love.