With the recent story of a large woman who was fatally thrown from a Texas roller coaster, the popular discussion is about roller coaster safety and weight restrictions. Could a weight limit have saved the woman’s life? The answer may be yes, but let’s face the facts here. If you’re significantly overweight then your risk of premature death is pretty damn high anyway. If you’re living a life of indulgence then you enjoy things like bacon and theme parks, that’s what America is about. To put a limit on that would be to put a clamp on the very tube which democracy flows from.
Sure we put a height restriction on coasters, but that’s just because dwarven folk experience TOO MUCH fun. If they were able to enjoy roller coasters on top of all that then it would truly be a charmed life. That has to be the only reason there’s a height restriction because as we all know any adult midget has the upper body strength to hold onto the bar and stay safe during even the most extreme coaster ride. There really shouldn’t even be a height restriction, just an age one because we damn sure can’t have babies being flung off the Superman ride all willy nilly.
A weight restriction goes against the very fabric the American flag was woven from. It’s not Americans’ responsibility to be thin, it’s the roller coaster makers’ responsibility to make stronger safety belts. The roller coaster companies have to step into the 21st century and adapt to the times. People on average are heavier and huskier than ever so they’re going to have to take the necessary steps to make coasters safer and keep our plump citizens from flying off their rides. If anything at least put a very thick level of cushion underneath the roller coasters. I mean why isn’t that a thing? Sure it’s expensive and if you fall from a certain height you might just land on your neck and die anyway, but it’s better than concrete, am I right?