The Top Ten Worst NBA Team Names

With news of the New Orleans Hornets becoming the New Orleans Pelicans it's important to take a look at how bad other team names currently are. There are actually very few good NBA team names, but here are the 10 worst:

10). "Pistons" - Detroit has a great history in the automotive industry, but naming a team after parts of a car is ridiculous. Why not call them the Detroit Carburetors or Windshields? That would make just as much sense.

9). "Spurs" - The San Antonio Spurs are basically named after tiny animal torture devices used to kick horses with.

8). "Thunder" - Thunder is a bland name, not only that but it's just a sound. It's like calling a team the Oklahoma City Yell.

7). "Magic" - One could argue that magic isn't even a real thing so it takes balls to name your sports team after something that doesn't exist. This would set the precedent for someone somewhere along the line to name their team the Orlando Jedis.

6). "Wizards" - Wizards isn't such a bad name except for the fact that there's already a team named the "Magic". You can't have Magic vs. Wizards. That doesn't make sense. Yet because there is a team named the Wizards, this paradox is created.

5). "Heat" - Heat is one of my least favorite team names because it means "the condition of being warm". How can you have a team made of that?

4). "Bucks" - The Milwaukee Bucks are basically the Milwaukee Deer. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but deer suck at basketball.

3). "Nuggets" - Nuggets of course refer to gold nuggets, but that's not made entirely obvious so the name is just "Nuggets" which means "a lump of something". Could be gold, could be processed chicken meat, could be human feces.

2). "Nets" - You simply cannot name your team after something that's part of the arena in which you play. Why not name the team the Brooklyn Balls or Brooklyn Rims? No one's scared of nets. You're playing against basketball players, not fish. "Oh God the Nets are coming! Is that real twine?!"

1). "Jazz" - I don't have to tell you why this is the worst name in the NBA. Just calling a team "Music" would be bad enough, but getting specific is awful. I guess it could be worse, they could be called the Utah Classical Opera or some shit.

Honorable mention: "Blazers" - The full name is Trail Blazers, but everyone always just says Blazers and a blazer is essentially a sports coat.

So as you can see the NBA is loaded with weird nonsensical, unintimidating team names which means all fans should welcome the New Orleans Pelicans with open arms. Pelican pride, bitch!