Dumbass Sayings: “Do You Want a Cookie?”

Sometimes you’re talking about parenting with other parents and you say “I never hit my kids” they reply with a “What, you want a cookie for that?” This is a weird thing to say to someone when you’re not holding a plate of cookies. Do I want a cookie? Yes. Always. I am always open to cookies regardless of the situation. Sarcastically asking someone if they want a cookie is like saying, “Oh great job. What, do you want a blow job?” Hmm let me think about that... Yes! Essentially you’re asking a question whose rhetorical answer is the exact opposite to the one that you’re setting up. That makes it an ineffective and pointless statement. If you want to more accurately frame this idea into a sarcastic question it should be “Do you want a parade?” Not everyone wants a parade. Parades are meant to celebrate significant achievements and events. No one would want a parade for something obviously simple like tying their shoes in the morning because that would feel patronizing and insulting, but would they accept a cookie? I think most people would.

Cookies are rewards for a reason. People enjoy eating them. That's how life works.