Dumbass Sayings: “Eat Me!”

Sometimes when you cut a person off in traffic they speed past you in the other lane and scream “HEY! EAT ME, FUCKTARD!” Excuse me? Eat you? I don’t really understand what this is supposed to mean. Is this encouraging cannibalism? Why would you want someone to eat you? No one should tell another person to eat them unless they’re Jesus. That was Jesus’ line. He said “Eat this, it is my body.” That’s about the only context where “Eat me” makes sense, and many might argue even that doesn’t make sense. Now if you said “Eat me out!” that would make a little more sense. Adding that one little word to the end makes a world of difference. Then you’re basically saying “Hey, eat my ass out” which I suppose could be an alternate way of saying “Suck my dick.” Again, even that doesn’t make sense because you would never want someone to literally eat your asshole flesh. Still, if you’re referring to analingus just throw in the world “out” to the end of that phrase and complete the thought. It’s only one more syllable. Don’t be so lazy. Maybe your laziness was the reason I was able to cut in front of you in the first place. Have you ever thought about that? Probably not!

Some people might take this literally.