Ask McFartnuggets: “Are We Really Treating Mother Nature That Badly?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I hear people always going on and on about how badly we are treating Mother Nature, but hey wait a minute doesn’t she gets Earth Day PLUS Mother’s Day? How many more holidays do we want to give this bitch? -- Kobbs from Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Dear Kobbs:

Well that might be fine if people actually gave Mother Earth gifts on Mother’s Day, but people are usually too focused on their human mother. What can you even get Mother Nature for Mother’s Day? You can’t get her flowers because she already has plenty. That would be like stopping by your mother’s house and pulling some flowers out of her garden and handing them to her at the front door. It might seem like a nice gesture until she realizes they’re her own geraniums. The only thing you could do for Mother Nature on Mother’s Day is help clean up the planet a little by picked up litter. The problem is you’re supposed to spend the time with your actual mother too and I’m not sure if she would enjoy picking up trash and doing manual labor all Mother’s Day even if it is for her mother too. That’s the other thing, women who had people come out of their vaginas would also have to give a gift to Mother Earth. They may as well just regift their own gift to the planet leaving them with nothing. That’s basically the main reason people tend to ignore Mother Nature on Mother’s Day. It just throws a wrench in the whole operation. That’s what makes Earth Day even more important!

Mother Nature is like military veterans, they have two holidays and should probably have more.

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