Dumbass Sayings: “Bitching and Moaning”

Sometimes when you’re at a hospital crying out for assistance you can hear the nurses outside your room saying “Oh god he’s bitching and moaning again!” First off, how is “bitching” even a term? There’s no such thing as “bastarding” is there? No, I didn’t think so. Even if I was to accept the fact that “bitching” exists and I’m doing it, I’m certainly not “moaning.” No one literally moans when they’re complaining. If they’re complaining then they’re unhappy and usually people only moan when they’re experiencing intense sexual pleasure. So unless you’re some freak who gets off sexually from being inconvenienced there’s never a reason to be bitching AND moaning. Do you want to know what I think happened here? I think somewhere along the line someone decided “moaning” and “wailing” were the same thing. They really aren’t. If you’re in pain, you wail. If you’re experiencing pleasure, you moan. I didn’t think this needed clarification. If you’re having sex with someone and they’re wailing in pain that would be a bad thing. If they’re moaning in pain that’s different. This is no innocent misunderstanding, it’s the difference between a positive sexual experience and a possible jailable offense.

Moaning and complaining are usually mutually exclusive behaviors.