There's a new study from the URMC that suggests the blue food dye known as "Brilliant Blue FCF" can aid spinal cord injuries. They learned after snapping a lab mouse in half and injecting it with blue dye that the dye safely rejects the releasing of a chemical called Adenosine-5'-triphosphate. With the ATP blocked off, less damage is done to healthy cells around a spinal wound. One possible human side effect of this remedy would be the dye turning your skin a bright blue akin to Violet from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and we all know what happened to that stubborn gum-chewing bitch.
If by some chance you already blew a smurf in the time between reading the title of this post and this current sentence, let me know if it worked. Of course you have to ingest the blueness, if you didn't, you may still have your dignity, but will not gain any spinal benefits. Track down that smurf and try again in the name of science!