That Belvita Breakfast Biscuit Golf Commercial

There's a commercial out for the breakfast food "Belvita" that depicts a hyperactive man making an ass out of himself while playing golf. The point of the commercial is to show that BelVita gives you the energy it takes to play GOLF.

Golf? Is that a sport that really requires a lot of energy? You stand in a stationary position, swing a club at a ball and then get in a cart and drive down to where you hit the ball to hit it again with a smaller stick. Is that really that draining? Do people go "Oh GOD I don't know if I can finish this round of golf you guys, I need to sit down and catch my breath! I am SWEATING PROFUSELY HERE!" Even at the highest level of golfing competition, The Masters, a 14-year-old Chinese boy is able to compete with the greatest in the world. That's proof enough that golf isn't really even a sport, much less an activity that requires an abundance of physical energy.

Golf is a game of skill like darts. It's a slightly more complicated version of Croquet. You don't need energy to play darts or croquet. If you want to show your breakfast biscuit giving people meaningful energy show someone eating the crap and then going to play 5-on-5 full court basketball or doing a triathalon. Golf was just the wrong game to choose.

I figure the only reason they did this is they figure the people who are willing to eat BelVita breakfast biscuits in the morning are older people and their game of choice is golf. That's just not a great way to present your product to a mainstream audience because all you did was show how your blueberry biscuits make people into jackasses running around embarrassing themselves in front of their business colleagues on a golf course. Kraft, do yourself a favor and combine BelVita with Velveeta then pay Derek Jeter to be a spokesperson and have a commercial that says "Derek Jeeta puts Velveeta on a BelVita" and watch the money roll in.