Three Major Advantages To Growing Out Your Ass Hair
1). Ass hairs can be a great alarm system.
If you flush while you're still sitting because you need to crap more, having long ass hair can help you sense if the toilet water level is rising and about to overflow. Whenever my ass hair is relatively short, by the time I feel the water on my ass it's too late and I have nanoseconds to grab the plunger and pray, but with longer ass hair that can give you a Spidey Sense shock that gives you time to pop up off the seat, move all your things out of the way, get a plunger and try to break up the dookie plug.
2). You can style long butthair.
When you're out on a beach wearing a thong or something revealing it's always nice to be able to braid the hair coming out of your butt like a tail. That's always a nice way to grab people's attention and make sure you're the number one attraction on the whole damn boardwalk.
3). Long ass hair can be a tool.
If you're ever in a situation where you need to grab someone's hand while they're falling off a bridge it helps to have something extra anchoring you so you don't fall over too. Usually you won't have time to tie your own asshair around a pole, but a bystander can pull your pants down and tie a bow for you while you grab the falling person. Make no mistake, it will be painful, but you're trying to save a life here as well as your own and a butthair lasso goes a long way to making that a possibility.
Remember, trimming your asshair can be a very dangerous activity if you're not using an electric shaver so that's just an added reason to let it grow. Good luck!