1.01.2016

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Would Anyone Want a Smart Mirror?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I hear they’re coming out with smart mirrors now. Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone want an intelligent mirror? Could you imagine looking into one of those and hearing the mirror’s voice going “Uhh… I wouldn’t go outside looking like that if I were you!” or “Is that really what you’re wearing girlfriend?” or “Damn that’s a big pimple!” or “Jesus, look at that cold sore…” I don’t want to hear anything out of my mirror. I want it to just show a general idea of what I look like and let me make up the commentary on my own. I don’t need a super intelligent AI recording and responding to my emotions and shit. Smart mirrors are stupid and I hope they never come true! -- Golby from Savannah, Georgia


Dear Golby:  
Yes, there may come a time when every bathroom and bedroom has a smart mirror installed, but it could be a very helpful thing. A smart mirror would just show you the weather and news automatically every morning while you’re brushing your teeth. Sure you can just as easily get that information from your phone or tv, but it would be there too. You could watch movies while you pop your face ulcers! You can’t do that with a tv. Also, yes it might be odd for a sentient being to see you at your worst every morning, aside from your significant other, but with that technology who knows what’s possible! If it can judge you, it can just as easily project a hologram over your face and superimpose a good looking version of yourself on top. So don’t worry about smart mirrors ruining your self esteem. If anything it could enhance your self image. imagine seeing an attractive person in the mirror every morning and the power that would give you as you left the house for the day. Sure it’d be a lie, but in the future reality and the virtual world will become very deeply intertwined and harder to distinguish.

Does bursting your facial abscesses really require cutting edge technology?

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