12.30.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Posterize”

Sometimes when you’re playing a pickup game of basketball at the local b-ball court, one of the opposing players slam dunks on top of you and everyone goes “OHHHHHHHHHHH SNAAAAPPP!” The guy starts celebrating and dancing while everyone laughs. Then as you grab your things to leave a random guy shouts “Yo ass got posterized! YOU JUST GOT YO ASS PUT ON A POSTER!” Excuse me? Posterized? Now I understand how this may have been a saying back in the 80’s and 90’s, but no one has posters anymore. I find it difficult to understand how this saying is still in use. Are posters even still manufactured? The whole concept of adhering a giant image of something you like to your wall is outdated. When you want to display your interests or things that you think are cool nowadays it’s all online. Kids today don’t know what the hell a poster is. If a kid today hears “Someone got posterized” they’ll have no idea what you’re talking about. You have to explain to them what a poster is and how posters used to be made of people slam dunking on other people and it’s a whole long origin story about something that’s completely obsolete. So the next time someone slam dunks on another person you should say “Oh dip! He just Pinterested him!” or “He just subreddited your ass!” In my case they should have said I just got “Snapchatted” because no one’s going to remember it even happened.

If only being posterized was this peaceful and soothing.

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