Sometimes you’ll go to Olive Garden to enjoy their never ending pasta bowl and breadsticks. When it comes to closing time a waiter walks up and says “Sir, we’re going to need you to leave.” When you explain to the waiter that the offer is a “Never ending pasta bowl and breadsticks” he says “Sir, don’t make us call the police.” Then the next day you come back and they no longer offer the never ending pasta bowl. You ask to speak to the manager and she says “It was never ending for a limited time.” I’m not sure if these people know what “never ending” means. Something can’t be never ending for a limited time. A limited time is the complete opposite of never ending. Stop lying to me, Olive Garden! This isn’t just false advertising it’s oxymoronic advertising. When I go into a place looking for “never ending breadsticks” I want the breadsticks to follow me home for the rest of my life. I want there to be breadsticks brought to me even long after I’m dead. The flow of breadsticks should continue into the vast expanse of eternity. I should be able to share those breadsticks with the world and permanently end world hunger for as long as mankind exists on this planet. THAT is what never ending breadsticks is all about so if you’re not going to deliver on that then you should just shut your damn mouths and call it “Up to fifty servings of pasta and breadsticks” and just be realistic about it. Let’s cut the shit with the hyperbole and be pragmatic adults here.
|"Never ending for a limited time" makes less sense than an MC Escher waterfall.|