Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t More People Go As Hitler For Halloween?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Every year for Halloween I see so few people dressed up like Hitler. I don’t get it. If the idea is to be scary on Halloween why wouldn’t people pick one of the scariest monsters ever in human history? He killed way more people than Frankenstein or Dracula. Even to this day he sends chills up people’s spines. I dress up like Hitler and it scares so many people that almost zero kids ring my doorbell anymore. I get to eat all the candy myself, it’s terrific! -- Tina from Old Bridge, New Jersey

Dear Tina:
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh… I think I know why people aren’t ringing your doorbell anymore. The problem with dressing like Hitler for Halloween (or at any time for that matter) is Hitler isn’t even that scary. He’s much more offensive than scary. You’re not scaring people you’re just making them uncomfortable especially if they’re Jewish. If you wanted to scare people then maybe Zombie Hitler would be pretty scary. People want to be scared by fake things not real things. It’s for this reason that you don’t see people going to Halloween parties as ISIS. Now that would be incredibly scary, but it would be TOO scary. People would probably call the police and a serious situation might arise. Halloween is all about fantasy fear, that’s what makes it special. Every other day on the calendar is about real fear and while Hitler was 70 years ago, he represents a real fear where real lives were lost. It would be much more acceptable to dress as Genghis Khan or Napoleon because more time has passed since those guys killed people. Maybe in 250 years or so if humanity is still surviving on this planet you might see more Hitler costumes on Halloween, but until then it’s just too soon.

If your kid asks to go trick or treating as Hitler just say no.

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