The Top 5 Small Things That Could Be Ruining Your Job Interview

If you’re currently in the hunt for a new job then you’re probably going to lots of job interviews. The process for choosing the right candidate is a complex one, but sometimes it boils down to the smallest details. If you’ve found yourself being passed up over and over again while doing everything perfectly there may be some small dealbreakers you’ve been unaware of. Take a look at the top 5 things that could be ruining your job interview and make sure these are in check the next time you apply for a job:

5. Sweat
It’s normal for a hand to be a little sweaty during a job interview handshake, but you should never be sweating profusely or from the face. When an interviewer sees you sweating even a little in a temperature controlled room it could mean a few things. It could mean you’re lying during your answers. It could mean you have high anxiety that might affect your work ability. It could also mean you don’t feel comfortable with the job duties. It might even mean you were rushing to get to the interview and that would indicate you have poor time management skills. Always wipe your sweat off before an interview, bring a sweat towel if you must.

Bring a sweat rag and use it discretely.

4. Bad breath
If you’ve found you haven’t been getting called back despite having the right experience for the job and perfect responses to every question then bad breath may be the culprit. You always want to treat a job interview like a trip to the dentist. Gargle with mouthwash, floss, and brush thoroughly like someone’s going to have their hands in your mouth. Also be conscious of tonsil stones which are horribly offensive smelling deposits of dead skin, mucus, and food that get trapped in your tonsils. Nothing ruins a job interview like going to answer a question and having one of those bad boys fly out onto the interviewer’s desk.

Never dip during an interview.

3. Nervous ticks
Job interviews are always a little nerve racking especially if you’re in desperate need for money. This can lead to nervous ticks being activated at sporadic points during the interview. You need to be very conscious of what you’re doing with your hands and face at all times. Of course you want to be natural and allow your normal personality to show though, but by doing that sometimes you become too unaware of your odd facial twitches and things like head or nose scratching and snorting. These are things that can leave a bad taste in an interviewer’s mouth when they make their final decision of who they want around the workplace.

Always be conscious of your actions.

2. Ghost farts
If you’ve noticed the boss’ face making strange expressions during your interviews and you never get called back then there’s a slight chance you could be ghost farting. Ghost farts are a deadly job interview killer. This is when there is actual methane fart seeping out of your asscheeks with no sound or vibration. What’s worse is that you may be ghost farting constantly which limits your ability to be aware of it. You become smell blind to your own ghost farts. If you fear this may be an issue please get the opinion of an unbiased third party. If it does turn out you’ve been ghost farting then reconsider your diet. Try less fiber and wear scented dryer sheets in your underpants to dampen the stink of the farts.

I know it was you, damnit!

And the number one thing you might not be noticing is ruining your job interviews is...

1. An erection
You can have the perfect job interview, but if you stand up to shake the person’s hand and you have an erection protruding out of the fly in your pants, that’s usually going to ruin your chances. One huge way to help this is to always remember to wear underpants. I know you want to feel relaxed, but you never know what’s going down there. It’s just too much risk to freeball.

Try your best to keep it tucked up under your belt and make sure your shirt is tucked OVER it. Can't stress that enough.

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