Dumbass Sayings: “Cool Beans”

Uncool beans.

“Cool beans” is a popular saying that kids use today to mean “cool” or “nice.” Perhaps they wouldn’t use the phrase if they knew it was from the late 1960’s. What will kids today say next? “Rad”? Or “Well that gives me the reds!”? Aren’t archaic sayings supposed to be “gay”? Kids need to start making up their own sayings because “Cool beans” is not one that should have survived to this point in human history. “Cool” is fine to still use and that’s an old one too, but there’s just no reason to tack on the word beans to that. Why beans? Why not sausage or lasagna or pot roast? It doesn’t make any sense. I don’t care how popular iced coffee has become, that’s the closest anyone should get to having anything to do with “cool beans.”

Dumbass Sayings: “It Is Better To Light A Candle Than Curse The Darkness”

If you're going to light a candle
at least put your cock away.

Someone once said “It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness”. Well clearly that person never saw “Batman” because if they did they’d know that it’s actually better to embrace the darkness than curse it or light a candle. Adapt to the darkness and enjoy it. Learn from it. Could you imagine if Bruce Wayne followed the advice of this saying and just lit a candle? Gotham City would be overrun with crime!

This saying is supposed to mean if you have a problem you should do something to fix it instead of complaining. I’m not sure if that actually needs to be said. Who ever whined about a problem, heard this saying, then realized how stupid they were and began working on a solution? Eventually we all come to the realization without being told this.

Also, lighting a candle isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Have you ever tried lighting a candle in pure darkness? First you have to find a match then futz around looking for a candle. Maybe you accidentally hit your toe on something and drop the match, now your carpet is on fire. The fire spreads from the carpet to the drapes. Before you know it your house is on fire. It is better to curse the darkness than curse a house consuming inferno.