Why is NASA making fake UFO's?

They seem to be planning something big, I'm not sure exactly what it is yet, but according to this video, it's shaping up to be something we will never forget!

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Is the Cold War really over?

If indeed the Cold War conflict is over, we have these heroic astronauts to thank for it all. I think it's about time they get some of the respect they deserve, unless the Cold War isn't over, then I suppose this meeting was insignificant.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Should a 13-year-old be allowed to sail around the world alone?

Normally I wouldn't think so, but according to her father, this Laura Dekker character can strip an engine while blindfolded. As we all know, that is the only prerequisite to sailing around the world. Despite this, magical Dutch judges have decided that she is unfit to travel around the world alone on a sailboat.

But wait, the story gets slightly interesting! A day before these Dutch judges made their decision, 17-year-old British kid Mike Perham became the youngest person to sail around the world. Let's say you're Mike Perham. You're a 17-year-old kid and for whatever reason, you decided to sail around the world, presumably for the thrill, the acheivement, the notoriety... Then this little bitch shows up out nowhere to completely overshadow you in every single facet of sailing achievement possible. Would you take that sitting down? Of course his family bribed some Dutch judges to keep this girl off the water.

Yeah, the sailing record is rigged! I said it! It's wrong, but let's hope it's the right decision even though we'll never really know. The only way to know is to let her go and have something terrible happen, but no one wants that! The good thing is, she's got a few years left. She can wait til she's 16 and more prepared for her transworld sailing responsibilities. In the meantime, another very mature 13-year-old might get the green light to break Perham's record, but that's when you have to stop and ask yourself, "Is what I'm doing here really worth the effort at all?"

One last thought, if you don't want children sailing across the world... STOP KEEPING A WORLD'S YOUNGEST SAILOR RECORD! You morons are inviting your own recreational problems!

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Is NASA working on an anti-alien gun?

It's all described here, but something tells me this isn't the whole story. I wish I could have gotten my hands on more of the tape, but this was the only bit I could find before security showed up.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

What is the real purpose of town hall meetings?

Sure you get to discuss the issues and try your best to affect change with real politicians, but I think it's mostly societal. We want to try and stay linked to a simple way of life that we're losing quickly in the 21st century. At a town hall, people get to regress back into childhood and pretend like they're in a middle school auditorium being rowdy. They even have a principal up on the stage yelling back at them to shut up or face detention. It is depressing to see people like this, but then again this is America, the only thing that isn't depressing is porn and hamburgers. And yes that is just one thing to me.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Would America have elected a President Blythe?

Apparently I've been sleeping in the cozy armpit of a cyclops for my whole life and the foul odors have had a psychotropic effect on me, but today I found out that Bill Clinton was born William Jefferson Blythe. Is this a well known fact? I feel like an alien right now. Is this one of those things that people assume everyone knows so no one ever talks about it? Like, yeah of course Elton John is gay, what the hell, you haven't gone to his Wikipedia page yet?

I've been a fan of 90's stand up comedy too, I can't remember any comic mentioning this. Did they? Of course it's not like Clinton changed his name specifically for his campaign, otherwise I'm sure President Obama would have considered a name change just to ensure victory... I wonder what names he would have considered.

I do remember a Dennis Miller joke in which he stated Clinton knew he wanted to be president when he was a teenager, then I read today that Clinton took his stepfather's name formally when he was fourteen, so maybe he did change his name to become president... That's kind of creepy eh? Then again, who am I to judge? He's a smart guy who knew what he was doing. Blythe vs Bush would have been a tough call. You already have a president with a last name starting with B, why go for an unproven commodity? But wait, C? Now that's the progression we need! Dole tried to cash in on that concept, but an initial can only take you so far.

Of course we all know now that people don't vote for presidents based entirely on name or race, but a bad name can disqualify you. Barack Obama is a damn cool name, had his name been Shifty Snatchfister, only God knows what would have happened to him.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

When does advertising go too far?

How far will some people go to prove the durability of their fancy watches? In the 1960's, perhaps too far. Then again it's not like this annoying ho didn't deserve something. Yeah I said it.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

Why Did They Ban Cigarette Commercials?

On August 1st 1965, all cigarette commercials were officially banned from television. This particular Newport commercial couldn't have helped their cause.