Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Did Jurassic Park Make Dangerous Dinosaurs?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Hey how come the old guy who made Jurassic Park decided to make raptors and T-rex dinosaurs? That seems like a really silly idea because just seeing any dinosaur would be cool enough. I would go there just to see a Triceratops and Brontosaurus. Those are amazing creatures. I don’t think I would be disappointed that there weren’t razor toothed 6 foot plus tall monsters capable of reaching speeds upwards of 50 miles an hour. That would actually keep me from wanting to go. Seeing lions and bears is nice but seeing giraffes and zebras is just as fun plus without the chance of dying. You’ve got dinosaurs there that’s all that matters. And on another note, they feed raptors entire cow and a goddamn T-Rex just a goat? Really? -- Alex from Dubuque, Iowa

Dear Alex:

John Hammond was the name of the old guy by the way, played by the late Richard Attenborough. Yeah in retrospect, breeding the velociraptors and T-rex was a bad move. You have to keep in mind that without those dinosaurs there wouldn’t have been much of a movie. The only reason nature broke loose was because it was hunting for human meat to eat. Nature wouldn’t have found away if all the dinosaurs were herbivores. Also, I’m pretty sure they only fed the T-rex a goat so they could do the severed leg on the ceiling of the car bit with the vegetarian girl. Many of the things that don’t make sense about “Jurassic Park” had to deal with making the plot of the movie better. For a more recent example, in “Jurassic World” they breed the dinosaurs to look almost the same as the ones from the first movie (even though we’ve learned that’s not what real dinosaurs looked like) because that’s what the public wanted. Well, I’m sure the public wouldn’t have minded if the dinosaurs were genetically altered to not have teeth, but then the movie wouldn’t have been nearly as exciting.

This is what real dinosaurs looked like. Often times logic and truth are in direct conflict with entertainment.

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