Dumbass Sayings: “If You Can’t Do The Time, Don’t Do The Crime”

Whenever a person is arrested and they start whining about how they can’t go to jail, someone always says “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime!” Obviously this saying makes sense, but it also inadvertently supports and even encourages crimes IF you have the time. This saying should just be “Don’t do crime.” What’s wrong with that? Why can’t we just say “Hey don’t do crime!” Why do we have to put a condition with it? It seems foolish to say “Hey, don’t do crime UNLESS you can do the time” which is essentially the exact same thing “If you can’t do the time don’t do the crime” means. In theory, if a man was immortal he could commit all the crimes he wanted because he could do the time. Just from an ethics perspective I think that poses some problems. Now clearly there is no such thing as an immortal person, but even if there was, I think we’d expect them to live up to the code of the law regardless of whether they could afford to spend decades in prison or not. And if we expect that from an immortal, certainly we can expect that from normal people. Time should not be the issue at hand. Time should not be the main thing stopping you from stabbing your ex-wife’s boyfriend.

Before deciding whether or not to do a crime, you must first consult the laws of space-time.