Dumbass Sayings: “Body After Baby”

After women give birth to a baby, one of their biggest concerns is losing the weight they gained during pregnancy. They see photos online and in magazines of other womens’ “Body after baby.” and feel pressured to look like a model a week after they just shot a human out of their vagina. People are always saying “OMG did you see J-Lo’s amazing body after baby pics!” I think you mean “Body after giving birth.” When you say “Body after baby” that’s a little vague. It could mean the baby disappeared, the baby died, the baby got kidnapped, etc. If your body is AFTER baby then that means the baby is no longer part of your life for some reason. If you’re a parent who’s currently raising a baby after you’ve given birth to it then your body is technically “Body during baby” not after. Please be more specific because there’s nothing worse than complimenting someone on how skinny their “body after baby” is after they’ve lost their baby. “Body after baby” is truly a horrible thing and shouldn’t even be a phrase. When your baby is gone the last thing you care about is your figure, hopefully. You could call it “Post birth body” or “Body after birth” and that would be a little less horrible.

Any body is going to look better after you've shat one of these out of your pooncavern.