Why is my computer heating up so much lately?

Yeah I know it's getting older, ass, but just because something gets old doesn't mean it warms up. Have you ever held and elderly person's body up to yours? It's saggy and frigid! My freaking computer gets so damn hot within mere minutes of surfing porn it's getting to a point where I'm starting to sweat along with the damn thing. The ambient heat coming off the sumbitch is actually warming my head, it's churning and boiling my brain juices! The worst part is summer is here and it hasn't even been getting that summery. Once it does, whoa HO, forget about it! The battery compartment is going to melt through and the acid is going to spill all over my crotch burning a hole directly through the bottom of my ass and I will shake in pain for three whole minutes before finally succumbing to shock and death. Personally I blame the CONFICKER. I know you're out there Conficker and if you think I don't know what you're doing you're wrong! I know a lot of people's computers have been heating up lately, it can't just be a coincidence. The CONFICKER is a plan by the computer companies to slowly overheat all the computers so we have to go out and buy new ones because people are so dependent on them it's sickening. Then perhaps that would stimulate the economy, leading back to my original thought that Conficker was a government plot... Damn I get tired of being right all the time!

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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