The Federal Drug Administration has announced that Black Licorice can lower potassium levels to dangerous levels. This news is sure to spoil Halloween for all the kids out there who love delicious treats. If there was anything left in the world you thought was truly wholesome and perfect it was black licorice and now we find out in fact there is a flaw. Of course! Just like hookers would be perfect if it wasn't for STDs, licorice too has a fatal flaw. This is awful news for licorice lovers, but don't worry an easy substitute for this tasty treat is a HOBO'S ASSHOLE. Find a local hobo, ask to give him a rim job, he will usually oblige, and then dig away at it. If you close your eyes it's just like eating black licorice. MMM MMMMMM!!!