Showing posts with label Excessive Language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Excessive Language. Show all posts

2.13.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Wildfire”

Sometimes you hear on the news that firefighters are battling a new “wildfire” in the Sierra Nevada foothills near Plymouth, California. That’s such a ridiculous term, “wildfire.” All fires by their nature are wild. I’ve never personally met a fire I could consider “calm.” Some people might be able to tame and control a fire like Siegfried and Roy can tame a wild tiger, but eventually things are going to go wrong. Fire is an exothermic reaction that causes a wild release of energy. A fire has no choice but to be wild so calling a fire “wild” is like calling someone a White Swedish. It’s pretty much implied that a Swedish person is a white person and while that may not always be the case, it’s so often the case that it would be considered overkill to use the term “White Swedish.” I think we can just call these “fires” and then depending on where they’re taking place you put that location in front of the word “fire” such as “forest fire” or “field fire” or “house fire.” You don’t just stick “wild” in there for convenience sake, because it’s not convenient. If you’re going to be specific, be specific the right way. “Wildfire” is a term that can just disappear and I don’t think anyone would miss it.

Fire is like an animal with rabies, obviously if they're big they're more dangerous, but a small one is nothing to take lightly.

9.02.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Between a Rock and a Hard Place”


Sometimes when you’re in a chase with a highway patrolman and he nudges your car into a ditch and you crash between the base of a bridge and an old tree while you have a dead hooker in the trunk he’ll say “Looks like someone’s caught between a rock and a hard place!” Excuse me? “A rock and a hard place”? What the hell is a “hard place”? Do you mean a “wall”? Just say a WALL! “Between a rock and a wall.” Was that so difficult? That’s five fewer letters to say. Also, a large enough rock to trap you in a certain position would basically be a “hard place” of it’s own. So basically you’re saying “Caught between a hard place and a hard place” which is damn stupid. Why do people say these things? Why do people say things that don’t even make sense? Just because someone said something a long time ago doesn’t mean you have to keep repeating it in modern life. People just love parroting phrases from long ago. No one ever bothers to try and make up their own original phrases. It’s sad really.

This phrase is popular at quarries where many accidental deaths are attributed to being trapped or crushed between a rock and a hard place.