Dumbass Sayings: “Live Life to the Fullest”

Sometimes a guy who skydives will tell you to “Live life to the fullest!” This sounds like it’s encouraging overeating. You should live life to be pretty full, but there’s absolutely no reason to be the FULLEST. It’s okay not to be at 100% stuffed capacity at all time. You can be at 90% and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think that’s the problem with the world today. Too many people are hogging up resources in an effort to live life to the fullest and that’s detrimental to humanity as a whole. Let’s say you have 9 people living life to the fullest. Well, if you’ve got 9 people filling themselves to only 90% then that allows for a complete extra tenth person to have 90% resources. Even if this saying is referring to having adventures and shit, you actually can’t live life to the fullest. You can’t always be having exciting shit happen to you. Eventually that gets exhausting and you need to take a break at which point you have to excrete some of the fullness you’ve been experiencing. You shouldn’t live life to the fullest, you should live to what makes you comfortable and anyone who’s ever stuffed themselves eating too much knows that’s the fullest isn’t comfortable, it’s stupid.

This saying should be nothing more than a competitive eating slogan.

Dumbass Sayings: “Grab The Bull By The Horns”

More like dress up all funny
and evade the bull with a giant stick.

A lot of motivational speakers recommend living life by “Grabbing the bull by the horns.” This is supposed to mean proactively going after what you want and making things happen for yourself, but if you grab a bull by the horns the only thing you’re going to make happen is a multiple bone fractures. Grabbing a bull by the horns is arguably one of the dumbest things someone can do. Running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain is pretty stupid, but at least none of those idiots ever try literally grabbing a bull by the horns. There’s reason they never try that and that’s because it’s a death sentence. People shouldn’t compare life to a bull. There are really no similarities at all. And IF life were a bull the best advice anyone could give you would be to run and maybe try to climb to higher ground where the bull can’t reach you since bulls can’t climb. Unfortunately that doesn’t sound as exciting so people recommend grabbing a bull’s horns. If you want to grab a bull by the horns, fine. Be my guest! Just don’t be surprised when it shakes you off its horns like a rag doll and gores you with said horns in the ribcage, puncturing your lungs and then trampling your skull into pieces.