Dumbass Sayings: "Love Is A Battlefield"

Love is in the air! Wait, no that's
Agent Orange.

Some people say "Love is a battlefield" but this is totally incorrect. If love really were a battlefield then no one.would ever get arrested for domestic violence. If you think love is a battlefield then you're probably doing it wrong. There's no scenario in love where you would.lose a limb in an IED explosion. In battle, there are no rules. Fortunately, there are many rules to love such as "Rape is illegal". Love is actually the complete opposite of a battlefield that's where the phrase "I'm a lover, not a fighter" comes from. Saying "Love is a battlefield" is completely disrespectful to people who have actually seen a battlefield. If love is a battlefield that means anyone who's ever been in love is a war veteran. Of course that's bullshit. If that were true you'd have to salute and applaud every single damn person in the airport. Give battlefields and the people who have died on them a little more credit than that.

Dumbass Sayings: "Head Over Heels"

When you're really obsessed with an individual usually a few days before the police intervene you'll hear people remark that you're "head over heels" for that person. The problem is, when are you NOT head over heels? Unless you have a serious physical condition where your head is positioned permanently below your feet then you're always "head over heels". There's nothing special or important about this condition. I tell people I'm head over heels for them all the time knowing full well it means nothing. When you're not head over heels it's a problem. Usually that means someone cut your head off and it's rolling on the floor so your head and heels are adjacent rather than one above the other. At that point there's no one who wants to have sex with you except maybe a few psychotic freaks who will likely face jail time for your posthumous relationship.

Being "Head behind heels" is a bigger deal than being "Head over heels".