Dumbass Sayings: “Are You Okay?”

Sometimes when you’re drunk at work and accidentally trip over a coworker’s child on “Take your kid to work day” people are like “Are you okay?” What kind of question is that, of course I’m okay. This is one of the most overused, pointless phrases in the English language. It’s really just a polite obligation. If you see someone get a paper cut or have a door smash them in the face, even when you know they’re fine you have to say “Are you okay?” anyway and pretend to be concerned. My problem with this saying is if you can ask “Are you okay?” then 100% of the time they are okay. Generally people will tell you or make it blatantly obvious when they’re not okay. People are generally not okay when you see a limb missing with tons of blood loss or they’re unconscious on the ground. In those instances you can bypass the questionnaire. You don’t run up to a fiery car accident and go “Is everyone okay?” You just throw the bodies over your shoulders and run to a safe distance as the cars explode. That’s what I would do anyway, I don’t know maybe I’m wrong here.

Most people ask "Are you okay?" then try to leave when you tell them about how you're crying on the inside all the time. Either you want to know or you don't!

Dumbass Sayings: “Why Isn’t Ebola Airborne?”

Ever since the Ebola panic in America died down in 2014 you see a lot of articles titled “Why isn’t Ebola airborne?” What a ridiculous question. Who cares why it isn’t airborne? The important thing is it’s not. That’s like asking “Why didn’t that scary looking guy mug me?” There’s no point in asking that kind of question. Why not publish a story called “Why didn’t the 9/11 hijackers aim lower on the Twin Towers?” Can’t we just be glad they didn’t so more people could escape the buildings, and leave it that? Sometimes bad stuff happens and fortunately, for a number of possible reasons it has never gotten so bad that humanity went extinct. Wondering why Ebola isn’t airborne reveals a horribly negative attitude. It’s almost like these people wanted Ebola to be airborne. Now I admit that would have been a great news story, but it’s an inappropriate subject for a news article. A question like that is meant for an apocalyptic thriller novel, not a news site. It’s apparent that news companies actually want horrible things to happen and that’s why I think you’ll see social media play an even larger role in news in the future. The news reporters of the future will be regular citizens because we prefer being informed about tragedy by people who are unhappy to see it as opposed to salivating dogs yipping at the sight of death.

How come a comet doesn't just come and put all of us out of our misery?