Dumbass Sayings: “Go Big or Go Home”

Whenever you’re a part of some kind of baking competition people will run up to you and scream “THIS IS THE BIG STAGE NOW, BITCH! GO BIG OR GO HOME!” into your face. Jesus, calm down. Even if you were in a competition to cure cancer that would be a little too over the top. This is a questionable ultimatum to begin with. If I have the choice between “Going big” (whatever the hell that means) and going home, that’s not an obvious choice. I might just go home. That’s not a problem. That actually sounds quite relaxing and soothing right about now. I like home. That’s why it’s called home! It’s a comfortable place to be. Now if this saying was “Go big or go fuck yourself” or “Go big or go to Hell!” then I could understand the importance of “Going big.” Does this mean that homeless people are constantly going big? If that’s the case, going big might be a tad overrated. Big is not the opposite of home. This is a heavily flawed expression.

Okay I'll go home. I don't give a shit.

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Did Hackers Leak The Annie Remake?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Why did the Sony Hackers leak the remake of “Annie”? They were trying to hurt Sony by leaking their movies, but how many people would actually pirate that movie? The type of people who pirate movies aren’t likely going to want to see the little orphan Annie. I doubt that’s going to hurt much business. You go to “Annie” to do something with your daughter, you don’t download a torrent from a pirate site and watch it on a laptop with them. That’s a weird way to bond with your kid. I’m not sure that’d be teaching them the right lessons. Wouldn’t the kid ask “Mommy, how can we see the movie at home if it’s in the movie theaters?” Then you have to explain movie piracy to them, the new paradigm of small outside parties hacking worldwide corporations, and that opens up a whole other can of worms. Who would really welcome that? -- Vanessa from Providence, Rhode Island

Dear Vanessa:

That’s a fair point. I’m not defending movie piracy here, but you could just make up a lie to tell your child and let them enjoy the movie on an iPad or playing it on your TV. Any movie being leaked online would hurt a movie company as long as their target demographic wasn’t amish people. It may not have hurt them much, but I’m sure Sony wished it didn’t happen.

Nothing like pirating a movie about orphans to achieve that warm tingly holiday feeling.

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