Dumbass Sayings: “God To Honest Truth”

Lincoln was an honest guy.
A lot of good that did him!

Sometimes people get confused and use the saying “God to honest truth” when they really mean “God’s honest truth” or “Honest to God truth.” “God to honest truth” doesn’t make any sense. What is that? That sounds like God is having a walkie talkie conversation with honest truth. Let’s put an end to all this scrambling of words in a sentence. I know it was probably just an honest mistake made by someone with Dyslexia a long time ago and it caught on, but let’s not keep going down this road. We might start with just saying “God to honest truth” and “Believe you me” but where does that end? How long will it be until we’re saying “Christmas merry!” and “Go have your mother sex with!”? The order in which we place words in a sentence is crucial to their meaning and THAT is the god to honest truth. The reason these wrong sayings continue to live on is because people are too afraid to point out when someone sounds like an idiot. Don’t be afraid to call people out for their bullshit.

Dumbass Sayings: "The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth So Help You God"

Maybe if people who lied were
killed by a lady with a sword
holding a scale we wouldn't need
this oath nonsense.

In court when a witness is sworn in they're forced to promise to tell "The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help them god" otherwise known as "the truth". Do we really need fourteen words to say two? Hell, you could shorten it to just "truth?", have the witness grunt and that would be just as valid of an oath. Apparently some people think that the more words you add to an oath, the more likely you are to tell the truth. Does that make any sense? A person is going to tell the truth based on their own morals and the situation they’re faced with, it has nothing to do with hearing 50 synonyms for the word “truth” beforehand.

Also what’s that whole “So help you God” part? What does that even mean? God is going to help you tell the truth? Or “God help you if you lie!”? I think it means “God help you if you lie!” but how can God help you against his own wrath? Just say “Tell the truth or God will kill you.” Why not just be frank about it? I guess it sounds a little dumber when you put it flatly like that, but better to at least translate it to modern language than have people entirely dismiss it as old fashioned mumbo jumbo talk.