The Top 5 Most Redundantly Named Inventions

I didn't know you could
make a TV out of a
party cup.

For some reason a lot of products out there like to insult the users intelligence by telling them exactly what to do with them, like earmuffs. Yeah we know they go over your ears. Where the hell else are we going to put those? You don’t need to call them “earmuffs,” no one is going to be confused. Why can’t more people name products like the makers of the Q-tip did? Q-tip isn’t a redundant name because that’s very mysterious. Where do you put that? Well we all know you use them to clean your butthole, but that doesn’t need to be slapped on the front of the box. Mittens don’t need to be called “Hand socks” we all get it. Anyway, here are the top 5 most redundantly named inventions:

5. Wheelchair

It’s called a wheelchair because it has wheels? No way! Yeah I think we can all clearly see there are wheels there. No one’s going to confuse it for a regular chair. Usually there’s someone already sitting in it anyway so that’s not ever an issue.

Interesting.

4. Lightbulb

If light bulbs were just called “bulbs” would that be too confusing for people? The things make light and everyone knows that. When you ask the guy at the store “Do you have any bulbs?” they get confused for a second, but then they realize you mean light bulbs because really what other kinds of bulbs are there? Tulip bulbs? Give me a break.

Without light bulbs there would be no crack pipes.

3. Mouthwash

Oh it’s for your mouth? You don’t say! Why not call floss “Between teeth string”? Oh because that sounds stupid, but mouthwash? We’re all okay with that for some reason. I guess too many people were washing their asses with it and burning their buttholes with the alcohol.

Have you ever tried a Listerine enema? If you thought it burned BEFORE you're in for a shocker.

2. Underwear

Yeah thanks for calling it “underwear” if I didn’t know that I would have been walking around like Superman getting shitstains all over the insides of my trousers that are clearly chafing my groin and the metal zipper track would be destroying my genitals.

Superman and this guy might not get it, but no one else really needs it to be called "Underwear."

And the number one most redundantly named product out there today is…

1. Toilet paper

The ultimate in foolishly named inventions is toilet paper. It’s a good thing they called it toilet paper otherwise I would have thought you just throw it in the trash when you’re done! I would have tried pushing it down the shower drain! No, obviously we all know if you wipe your ass with something you flush it down with the rest of the poop. It’s common sense, it does not need to be explicitly stated by the name of the product.

It's a good thing they specify it's toilet paper otherwise I might use all sorts of paper on my butthole like construction paper and sandpaper.