Dumbass Sayings: “The Cat’s Out of The Bag”

Okay, that's a bag
made out of a cat...

When you’re trying to keep your brother’s plans for a Thailand sex change surgery a secret and accidentally blurt it out after a few drinks at Thanksgiving dinner he’ll say “Well the cat’s out of the bag now!” I just don’t get this saying at all. Why the hell do you have a cat in a bag? What reason could you possibly have to put a living feline in a portable baggage device? Are you traveling with it by plane and want to circumvent the mandatory health inspection? That’s foolish. The TSA has regulations for a reason! And even if you did have a cat in a bag and it escaped, GOOD! Let the cat be free! That cat shouldn’t have even been in the bag in the first place, Oliver! So now everyone knows you’re going to have your pecker turned inside out into a vajango fett. Who gives a damn? Good for you. Maybe the cat in the bag was your new pussy! Now it’s out and everyone knows about it. Cats cover up their poop in sand the way we cover the truth with lies. Sometimes the truth is so stinky the lies can’t cover them up anymore and we have to clean the litter box. That’s all I did. I cleaned the litter box. Damn, I didn’t even realize that connection at the time. See, Ollie, with a wit like that you’ll make it in life man or woman!