Dumbass Sayings: “Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?”

You know who else
fell from heaven?
SATAN.

Sometimes beautiful women will come up to me at bars and say stupid crap like “Did it hurt?” And I go “Did what hurt?” And they say “When you fell from Heaven!” Uhh, what the hell is that supposed to mean? You think I’m a fallen angel? Are you comparing me to Satan right now? What do you think I did that got me banished from the kingdom of heaven? You don’t think I’m worthy to stay there? And If I fell all the way from heaven I probably wouldn’t even be alive right now. That’s a long ass drop!

If I fell from heaven that would mean I’m dead. You have to die to get to heaven and I don’t recall dying. If somehow I did die, got to heaven and was thrown out all without me remembering it, then you’re basically talking to a ghost right now. If we have sex that’s technically necrophilia. I don’t know what kind of freaky stuff you’re into, lady, but necrophilia ain’t on my list, even if I’m the corpse!