Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Pizza Boxes Square When Pizzas Are Round?”

Dear McFartnuggets:

I am eating pizza right now while high and wondering why are pizza boxes square when pizzas are round? Shouldn’t pizza boxes be circles? -- Latisha from Fort Lauderdale

Dear Latisha:

If you were buying a globe would you expect for it to come in a spherical box? If you were buying a dildo would you expect it to come in a box that was shaped like a dildo? Of course not. That would be embarrassing and the UPS guy would totally know what it was. Not every box has to match the exact shape of an item that’s being transported inside it! You may as well ask why coffins aren’t form fit like mummy tombs! The answer is it takes too much damn effort. It’s not worth the time to make mummy coffins for people because that’s not even something that matters to people. No one wants to be buried in a mummy sarcophagus and no one gives a damn if their pizza comes in a square box or a round box. Thanks for the question, Latisha.

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