Dumbass Sayings: “I’ll Think About It”

Don't waste my time.
Just say no.

When you ask a woman if she wants to go to the aquarium with you on Saturday she usually says “I’ll think about it.” Cut to you dressed in your dolphin t-shirt and Shamu hat waiting by the phone for her call back and it never comes. Apparently “I’ll think about it” just means “No, you fucking loser.” So why don’t people just say this? Do they do it to be nice? Honestly, being frank and saying what you really mean is going to hurt me, but not as much as when I realize what you really meant. At least if you just tell me “No, you fucking loser” I can go and ask someone else who might actually enjoy dolphin hijinx and manta ray excitement instead of holding out for your punkass to never call back. I think the problem is that people do “Think about it” but when they decide the answer is no they don’t bother telling anyone. They figure that their thinking about it was enough, well it’s not, Jenna. It’s really not. Now I’m sitting here next to a dolphin tank alone and dolphins are splashing me and laughing in their dolphin language. I asked them to stop and they said “EEE-EE-EE-EEE-EEEE-EE-EEEE-EEE-EEEEEE-EEEE-EEEEEE!!!” Which I’m sure in Dolphin means “I’ll think about it.”