Dumbass Saying: “Not Til I’ve Had My Morning Coffee!”

Not til I've had my morning
diarrhea in a cup.

Sometimes when you try to say “Good morning” to a coworker they’ll bark “Not til I’ve had my morning coffee!” push you hard in the chest, throwing you into the wall and then they storm away to the break room. I don’t understand this at all. How addicted to caffeine are can you be? Even a heroin addict will talk to someone before they’ve had their morning heroin! Usually they’re only talking to get the heroin, but still. Caffeine is a drug and just because nearly every person in North America is addicted to it doesn’t make this level of dependency okay. If you cannot even say hello to a person before you’ve had your morning hit, I don’t care what drug or addiction it is, you have a serious problm and someone has to organize a caffeine intervention for your ass. You need to be sent to caffeine rehab and the fact that caffeine rehab doesn’t even really exist is a sign people need to start taking this problem more seriously.