The Top 5 Stupidest Art Museum Rules

Security is so damn
touchy at museums.

Going to an art museum is a great way to spend some time over the weekend. It’s a relaxing way to enjoy some of the world’s finest artwork and really appreciate the visual gift of art. Sadly, there are a lot of rules at most art exhibits. These rules can really spoil the fun and the worst part is most of the rules don’t even make sense. Here are the top 5 most stupidest art museum rules:

5. No food

You might be able to feast your eyes on artwork, but if your stomach is growling then your experience will be ruined. There’s nothing worse than being hungry and staring at a painting of a bowl of fruit. You should be allowed to eat at a museum. What’s the worst that could happen? You’d eat something bad and projectile vomit on a piece of art? Highly unlikely. Plus, people can always vomit downward.

If a sandwich artist made my lunch I should be able to eat it in a museum.

4. No photography

A big rule anywhere there’s fancy art is “no photography.” Why? Do these people really think I can take a photo of a piece of priceless art and then sell it? Who the hell would buy that? All I want to do is take a photo so I can enjoy it later for my own personal use, if you know what I’m saying. What’s the harm in that?

Always wear a helmet in case security tries going for your head.

3. No singing

Another dumb rule they have in museums is “keep your voice down.” Well sometimes certain pieces inspire you. That’s what good art does. Sometimes you’re inspired to sing and the song can actually enhance the viewing experience for everyone else. Not all noise is created equal! There’s a big difference between me singing “Thriller” by Michael Jackson and some idiot just screaming nonsense. Take it on a case by case basis, don’t just condemn all sound.

We make art with our voices. If you can't handle it that's on YOU.

2. No nudity

The human body is a work of art in and of itself so why then should it be hidden at an art show? Let the art come together!

This jackass gets to be naked and I don't?

And the number one stupidest rule at art museums is…

1. No touching the art.

This is the rule that most museums take the most seriously. It seems like it might make sense because people’s filthy fingers might ruin the paintings, but there is one reason this is a really stupid rule. How are blind people supposed to enjoy the art if they can’t touch it? I mean if you can’t touch the art, not even a sculpture then why should a blind person even bother coming to a museum? This rule is biased against the visually impaired and that is sickening. If someone’s blind they should be able to touch whatever they want. Their hands are their eyes and their touch is their looking.

This is how I feel when people don't let me touch their art.