Dumbass Sayings: “Pull Some Strings”

Worst tampon
ever.

Sometimes people say stupid things like “My uncle is going to try to pull some strings to get me a job at Cracker Barrel.” What is this business of pulling strings? Is your uncle some kind of puppetmaster? Is he above the people of Cracker Barrell manipulating them like marionettes? That’s such an absurd notion that someone could pull strings to get someone a job. Even if you could literally control people like puppets, do you realize how difficult it would be to process any type of paperwork? Sure you might be able to pull some strings and get them to move over to a desk and sit down, but any type of small joint manipulation would be damn near impossible. In order to do something like that you’d need to pull A LOT of strings, not just some. There would have to be strings attached to each other person’s fingers and even then the most skilled puppeteer probably couldn’t make them fill out forms and type on a keyboard, all of which are necessary tasks to fulfill job placement. The only time anyone should ever use this saying is if they’re talking about getting a job at the local tampon factory or something. THEN you can say “My uncle is trying to pull some strings to get me a job making tampons” and that makes some sense.