Ask McFartnuggets: “Is a Woody During a Checkup Normal?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

So I got a new job recently and part of the hiring process is I had to get a physical check up exam done. I haven’t had one of these since I was a kid so I had no idea what to expect or what was normal. I told the doctor I was nervous and he said “It’s okay.” Later in the exam, I felt a woody. The doctor chuckled and said “It’s okay. Don’t worry, woodies are totally normal during a physical.” I looked down and saw the doctor had a woody. I was very uncomfortable, but he insisted it was normal and natural. Then he examined my breasts for what seemed like an eternity. It was weird. I guess he was checking for lumps. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor I just want to know if all that was part of it because I’m not feeling so sure. -- Sally from Long Island, New York

Dear Sally:

NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! It is totally NOT normal for your male doctor to have a "woody" at any point during an exam whether you’re a man or woman. Some people do say woodies are normal during an exam but that’s regarding a male patient. And if he was squeezing your breasts more than just a few times then I would highly recommend contacting the authorities because it seems like you may have been taken advantage of. What a creepy fuck. If you feel like you were taken advantage please speak up. If that son of a bitch is doing what I think he is then he must be stopped immediately. Check up on his background, get as much information as you can and report that sick bastard. Congratulations on the new job by the way.

It's better if the doctor just describes his penis to you.

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