Dumbass Sayings: “I’d Rather Sleep With a Dog Than You”

Sometimes you’re chatting up a lady at the discotheque and she says “I’d rather sleep with a dog than you!” Oh that’s REALLY ORIGINAL. I’ve never heard that before! What is with women and this phrase? The thing about it is, they say it like it’s a big popular insult. It’s less of an insult and more of a cause for concern. Listen, if you want to bang a dog more than a human being then that's not a problem with the me, that’s an emotional problem with YOU. I know personally, I’d rather have sex with the ugliest woman on earth before I pork a cocker spaniel. Having sex with a dog or any type of animal aside from homo erectus is never an option. It’s is just simply NOT an option. If you’re so quick to turn to bestiality then I’m sorry, but that’s a you problem not a me problem. It’s illegal for a reason, folks! Every time a woman says this to me I always recommend she get professional psychiatric help because that is really not a normal sentiment to carry. I’m never hurt by this, I’m concerned. It’s good that they say it though because once a woman says this I know I shouldn’t have wanted her to begin with. Lord knows what kinds of skeletons are hanging in that closet. There’s a decent chance they’re not all human skeletons too!

Good luck having sex with that.