Dumbass Sayings: “I’m (Number of Days) Sober!”

Sometimes you’ll meet an old high school classmate and you’ll ask how they are and they say “Fine! I’m 258 days sober!” This is supposed to be some kind of achievement. If you’re counting every single day since your last drink, you still have a problem. On the other hand, if you don’t remember how long it was since your last drink, (provided it wasn’t last night and you just blacked out and have no memory of what happened) then you’re cured. Your last drink could have been only a week ago, but if you aren’t counting the days then that’s a sign of normal behavior. As long as you’re adding each day on the wall like a prisoner counting days in jail then you’re not fixed yet and that’s nothing to be bragging about. How often do you hear an elderly man say “I’m 8,453 days sober!” After long enough you lose count and that’s when you really should be bragging about how you’re over your alcoholism. Of course no one ever talks about it then because they’re just living a normal life which is nothing to brag about. Bragging about how many days you’ve been sober is like bragging about how many days you’ve been out of jail. For normal people it means nothing. For you it might be a huge accomplishment, but don’t be shocked when people don’t pat you on the back for that. Why do people with drug issues seem to get praise for merely acting normal? I guess you have to have a drug problem to understand and I definitely don’t so the next time I’m buying heroin from your cousin, save your “days sober” count. I really don’t need to hear that shit!

"I'm dress like a pilgrim and shit my pants days NOT sober."