Showing posts with label Did It Hurt?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Did It Hurt?. Show all posts

6.05.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Did it Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?”

Sometimes when you’re minding your own business having a drink at a bar a woman will walk up and say “Hey baby, did it hurt?” You say “Did what hurt?” She says “When you fell from Heaven!” This is a really bizarre pickup line to use on someone. The thing I don’t like about it is it’s inherently an insult. People don’t just fall from Heaven. They have to do something horrible first to be shunned by god and be cast out of paradise. Basically they’re calling you a fallen angel, you know, like Satan. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to get into someone’s pants to be honest. Normally comparing someone to the dark lord isn’t the best compliment. This pickup line is intrinsically flawed and makes no sense to use in any possible context. If you want to use something like this try saying “How was the trip from Heaven?” This communicates the same thing without the whole falling from grace aspect that some people might be offended by.

Just because it's called a "pickup line" doesn't mean someone fell.

5.27.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?”

You know who else
fell from heaven?
SATAN.
Sometimes beautiful women will come up to me at bars and say stupid crap like “Did it hurt?” And I go “Did what hurt?” And they say “When you fell from Heaven!” Uhh, what the hell is that supposed to mean? You think I’m a fallen angel? Are you comparing me to Satan right now? What do you think I did that got me banished from the kingdom of heaven? You don’t think I’m worthy to stay there? And If I fell all the way from heaven I probably wouldn’t even be alive right now. That’s a long ass drop!

If I fell from heaven that would mean I’m dead. You have to die to get to heaven and I don’t recall dying. If somehow I did die, got to heaven and was thrown out all without me remembering it, then you’re basically talking to a ghost right now. If we have sex that’s technically necrophilia. I don’t know what kind of freaky stuff you’re into, lady, but necrophilia ain’t on my list, even if I’m the corpse!