Showing posts with label I Peg Your Bardon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I Peg Your Bardon. Show all posts

10.16.2014

Dumbass Sayings: “I Beg Your Pardon”

When your grandmother can’t hear what you said because her ears are dying she says “I beg your pardon, sonny?” You beg my pardon? What is this the 17th century? Let’s deconstruct this phrase. First of all, you “Beg”? You’re begging? Why? Have some dignity! And you’re begging for my pardon? The only person who should be begging for a pardon is someone on death row. If one was to take this saying literally, you’re pleading for my forgiveness over the fact that you didn’t hear what I said. That is a little excessive. To top it all off you’re not really begging or pleading. If you were doing that you’d be on your knees. So you’re not begging. Why are you using the word? Stop using words improperly. I don’t care if you’re trying to be polite. There are ways to be polite without sounding like you’re a musketeer talking to a princess. Just say “I’m sorry what was that?” That sounds like something someone in the 21st century would say. Better yet, be more concise and just say “Huh?” That works. I’d prefer to speak in guttural single syllables than in ornate superfluous outdated language that when actually examined makes no goddamn sense.

Unless you look like a depressed Santa and have a hat held out you're not begging.

4.04.2014

Dumbass Sayings: "I Beg Your Pardon"

Maybe if more turkeys begged
we'd be able to pardon more
than one per year.
This is an old fashioned phrase that's slowly fading out of existence and rightfully so. It's just too formal and weird to exist in today's fast paced world. If you say "I beg your pardon" it usually means "excuse me." It should mean when a criminal has to beg to be released from Death Row by the President. That makes more sense. That'd a scenario where you would literally beg for a pardon, but saying "I beg your pardon" to someone just because you didn't hear what they said? That's overkill. Plus, they say beggars can't be choosers so if you're begging then you have to deal with whatever they said. If someone doesn't give you their pardon then there's nothing you can about because you've supplicated yourself in the act of begging to obtain said pardon and failed. Who would want to put themselves in such a position? Stop begging for pardons!