Ask McFartnuggets: “Is There Really No Such Thing As a Stupid Question?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Hey Binkie I was just wondering is there really is no such a thing as a stupid question? I’ve heard people tell me there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but I find that hard to believe. Some questions have to be stupid, right? -- Cleve from Twin Falls, Idaho

Dear Cleve:

Of course everyone knows there’s no such thing as a stupid question! What are you a fucking moron?! Haha, I’m just having fun with you. But actually, yes there are stupid questions. Yours doesn’t really count as one. There can be a lot of stupid questions. For example: “How many adult chimpanzees are currently vacationing in your vagina?” That’s a dumb question. No one can defend that question. That’s just flat out stupid. “If I eat this rat poison will I learn to fly like a giraffe?” Another very stupid question. I could go on for days, but the point is, people say “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” to keep children from being embarrassed or ashamed to learn. That’s a valid concern and a noble cause, but a side effect of that is it legitimizes every possible question. It’s a small price to pay for the good that it can encourage. However, that doesn’t change the fact that there are indeed stupid questions out there. Ultimately, it boils down to just another lie we tell children to protect them. Thanks for the question.

Some people might think the question "Can I put my dick in that thing?" is stupid, but what's even stupider is to not ask and just do it.

Write in your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and don’t make it a stupid one! I’m just kidding, stupid questions are fine too.

Dumbass Sayings: “How Do You KFC?”

KFC’s newest slogan is “How do you KFC?” Okay first of all, KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken which is a noun not a verb. You can’t go Kentucky Fried Chickening. This is an obvious ripoff of the early Yahoo! slogan “Do you Yahoo?” which was stupid too. At least they were original in their stupidity. The real issue here is, even IF we were to accept the idea of KFC being a verb, I would guess I KFC the same as everyone else. There aren’t really that many different ways to KFC. You buy the food and you put it in your mouth, you chew it, you swallow it, you digest it, and you viciously crap it out usually while in severe pain. I don’t understand why they thought this was a good question to ask people. Are there people who KFC by putting the drumsticks up their asses and rubbing honey bbq wings on their nipples? I’m sure there are, but who really wants to hear that story? One of the things that all people have in common no matter what nationality or ethnicity, we all KFC pretty much the same way which makes this question insanely boring and idiotic.

Eating fried chicken isn't an art that you can put your personal touch on, it's usually a regret that ends with oily diarrhea.

Dumbass Sayings: “What’s The Matter? Afraid You Might Like It?”

Whenever your friends and family are at home doing crack cocaine they always ask if you want to try some. When you politely decline your uncle says “What’s the matter? Afraid you might like it?!” Yes! Yes I am afraid I might like it. That’s the whole point of not taking crack cocaine. If I like it then I’ll get hooked on it and my life will enter a deadly downward spiral of madness, illness, and depression. That’s a pretty good reason to not want to try something. Of course I’m afraid I might like it. Why else would I be afraid? If I don’t like it then who cares? If I don’t like it then there’s no point in even taking it to begin with so basically you’re looking at a lose/lose scenario here. If I were to enjoy the crack that would be making a loss a temporary winning situation which is what leads to addiction in the first place. You think you’re winning when you’re really not. That’s what makes crack so dangerous.

Why don't you want me to pull your hair while you're holding a baby? Are you afraid you might like it?