Dumbass Sayings: “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One!”

The slogan for Lays potato chips is “Betcha can’t eat just one!” When people hear this they think “What a great slogan! It’s so true! You really can’t eat just one!” Yeah, that’s because you can’t eat just one of ANY SNACK FOOD. Are you stupid? Who the hell eats ONE peanut and just walks away? When you’re dealing with small foods, that’s the whole damn point. You need to eat more than one just to make it worth your while. It’s not necessarily a compliment to see someone eating more than one of your chips. The only reason someone would eat only one potato chip would be is if the chip was horribly disgusting. So basically Lays is saying “Hey, it’s not rat poison!” That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement. It’s not a great slogan if it can apply to anything. Skittles could just as easily use this slogan because who the hell eats just one Skittle? Instead they go with something intriguing like “Taste the rainbow.” That’s a damn slogan. “Betcha can’t eat just one” is just goading people into a wager both you and they know they can’t possibly win. That’s unfair to people who have gambling addictions and unfair to people with eating disorders. Those are the people Lays is trying to take advantage of with this slogan and it’s sickening.

I ate just one once. Frito Lay still hasn't payed up.

Dumbass Sayings: ”This is Fan Food, Not Fast Food”

Fan food is extra
popular around summer.

Dairy Queen’s slogan is “This is fan food, not fast food” and they pretend like people know what that means. What the hell is “fan food”? Are they talking about food created with the use of a fan like whipped cream or something? Are they talking about food for fans of professional sports teams? Neither of those explanations make sense. What I’m assuming they mean is their food is so good that it garners a fan base of fanatic enthusiasts. The problem with that message is it’s not clearly communicated through the term “fan food.” I sincerely doubt people hear “This is fan food, not fast food” and understand what that means. This is not a phrase that will take off with people. When was the last time you heard someone say “Hey you wanna get some fan food?” No one says that because it sounds incredibly stupid and would only serve to confuse the other people listening. Also, “fast food” isn’t a slur. Dairy Queen IS fast food. Just accept what you are. There’s nothing wrong with getting food quickly. That was the whole idea when fast food was invented. People like fast food. Just be comfortable with who you are, Dairy Queen. There’s no need to invent weird new adjectives for yourself. And if you do make up new phrases to describe yourself, at least have the courtesy to do a couple commercials where you explain what the hell you’re talking about.

Dairy Queen isn't that popular in South Korea.