Can Chris Christie Be President?

Whenever someone brings up Chris Christie as a potential Presidential candidate in 2016 the question is always "Is America ready for an obese President?" Newsflash, dipshit! We've had a few, most notably William Howard Taft, yes the guy who reminds you to check your blood sugar and check it ofTen.

I think what people forget is that fat is a sign of power. You don't want to piss off a fat guy. You can run, but you can't hide, and neither can he for that matter. John Goodman is a larger gentlemen and he's one of the greatest actors of 20th century. Are you trying to say John Goodman couldn't be President? Of course he could! Also you have to remember, this is America. We are some of the fattest blobs of crap on the planet so why wouldn't we elect an overweight President? Let's face it, if Papa John ran for President and promised everyone free pizza we'd elect that son of a bitch in a heartbeat despite the fact he is almost certainly mentally disabled judging by those commercials.

I'm not saying Chris Christie is the right man for the job, but if his weight ever becomes a serious issue I think that's wrong. You can't discriminate against fat people, they're just like you and me, they just have a slightly stronger affinity for PASTRIES. People were ready to vote Sarah Palin into the White House as a VP four years ago, so why not someone with even bigger titties, that are all-natural mind you, who actually has a brain in their skull?