Unforgettably Delicious Thanksgiving Recipes

A lot of people like to wait to the day before Thanksgiving or even the day of Thanksgiving to cook their Thanksgiving meal, but that's just ridiculously stupid. Why cause yourself extra stress when you could just start preparing your Thanksgiving meal TODAY and preserve it in the freezer to thaw out later?

Now I’m by no stretch of the imagination the next Guy Fieri, but I have bleached my pubes blond before. Here are some nice quick recipes you can try to make your family’s Turkey Day tummies feel pleasure, alright that sounded weird.

1) Roach Krispie Treats -

Ingredients: Butter, marshmallows, Worsherhshsher sauce, salt, and those tiny roaches that aren’t quite full-sized cockroaches maybe they’re baby cockroaches or something.

Instructions: Do what you do when you make Rice Krispie Treats, but then replace the Rice Krispies with roaches. Place on plate. Consume.

2) Ant Krispie Treats -

Ingredients: Marshmallows, Wosheshesher sauce, ants.

Instructions: Act like you’re making Rice Krispie Treats, but then instead of Rice Krispies use a bunch of dead ants. Serve on a platter. Enjoy! (Serves 1 to the entire population of the world depending on how many you make).

Special notes: You’ll realize there is no salt or butter in this unlike the Roach Krispie Treats. This is for people on a diet.

3) Praying Mantis Krispie Treats -

Ingredients: Praying Mantises

Instructions: Catch as many Praying Mantises as you can then season to taste with salt & pepper, enjoy.

Special notes: You don’t need to do much with Praying Mantises, they are in and of themselves already natural delicious treats. Just don’t let a park ranger or some shit see you as this is incredibly illegal.

And that's all there is to it! Fix these up now and save them until it's Thanksgiving, trust me, your family will love it. Oh and as always, Remember To Use Condoms, Folks!