Highest Level of U.S. Military Turning Into Jerry Springer

This guy gets laid. I don't.

I don't know what's worse, U.S. military Generals getting into sex scandals or enraged citizens pretending to know who these people are. Don't even tell me you knew who General John Allen was, motherfucker! You need to know who someone is before you can get outraged about their sex life. Sure the General was reported to have sent 20 to 30,000 "inappropriate" emails to some Polynesian hooker over the past two years which, in fairness is more emails than I get from dick pill companies, but hey doesn't being a 4-Star General count for anything? If these men can't be banging hos on the side then what's the point? I thought that's what warriors were supposed to do.

The improper relationships Generals Petraeus and Allen have probably had will open up some security questions about prostitute-whores gaining access to the highest level of restricted defense information, but we haven't had a serious military issue in America since 9/11 so if there are sluts running the military I say WELL DONE, LADIES! If the highest level of the military is becoming one big Jerry Springer Show then so be it. All I have to say is Yeah, Jerry, my question is for the FAT BITCH! Of course the media is to blame, but the deeper problem is people's undying urge to know who's fucking who. I'll tell you who's getting fucked! The people! Here we are again wasting time on silly nonsense like this when the real shit is dancing around, smacking its dick against the back of our heads. It's a sad indictment on our society when even military warlords cannot engage in extra-marital relations. If there's any silver lining in these military sex scandals it's that we can us them to raise awareness for birth control because the best defense is not a tank, it's a condom, and that's my final thought.